God my day was great today….. that sounded like I was praying. I am not even religious…….

God, my day was great today, but tomorrow will you make it better by canceling school?

Yah, it was just amazing. Lets start from the very beginning:

Speech class:
I was sitting in speech class when Sam Shaa walks in. Yesterday Sam had stolen my folders and hid them resulting in me not being able to turn half my homework in, so I was naturally going to get him back. I slapped him across the face, (when he sat down) stole cused him out to the point were he had tears in his eyes, and stole his gum. This may seem small to all of you, but I felt satisfied.

Math:
I was the only on in class to get the extra credit right. Then the beat boxing idiot preceded to make up a rap about my smartness.

Advisory:
There was an AWSOME girl with an AWSOME accent giving an AWSOME speech.

Software Apps:
A couple of weeks ago I told my friend Lexi that I thought one of her friends looked like a rapist. She then proceeded to tell him what I said. He gave me these looks but hasn’t said anything since. Today I was engrossed in my typing, when he comes up behind me, puts his hands around me, and says, “I’m going to rape you”. I have never screamed louder.

French:
We were talking about Napoleon in French class. Are teacher was telling us how after he died they put his body in a casket which was put in a casket which was put in a casket, so on until there were 6 caskets inside one another. The reason? They didn’t want him to come back from the dead to take over, again. It’s good to know that the French were cautious about Napoleon coming back as a zombie to concure there brains and country.

Lunch:
So Rachel, Lexi, Annthea, and I was at Lexi’s locker when an orange juice bottle comes flying from behind the lockers and lands perfectly in my arms (without my knowledge). I just stare at it, like it’s a sign from god. Then I hear a group of girls giggling behind the lockers and I precide to chuck it at then at full force, over the locker. I could hear girlish screams. I then run to the other side of the lockers and yell “watch were you through that fucking thing”. There was a teacher there, he didn’t care that I cused. This seemed to make Rachel’s day. At lunch we stood in line and got our lunch and sat down. Annthea’s boyfriend decided to sit with us. The other day I had asked how much she was paying him to date her, his friend had said $10,000. Today I asked,” No really how much is she paying you, I have seen were her mom works and she cant afford that.” He then said,” Oh she’s not paying me in cash, she’s paying me in sex.” The look on Annthea’s face, priceless. He is my new favorite person. Annthea I know your not reading this but, I approve.

Biology:
The teacher said that she would give me full points for my assignment after I explained what Sam did. (the bright side, I hadn’t finished it so that extra day Sam gave me helped. That u Honda Loser)

Dance:
Told Kapui she had 67 protons, nobody got it but me. Then I proceeded in telling her that she was easy and this sophomore confirmed it with a story about Ethan, the guy she is throwing herself at.

Literature:
Miss Frank, one of the software app teachers, watched us the last fifteen minutes of class because Mr. Andrews had to leave. Once he left she told Caleb, this annoying kid, to do 15 pushups for being a smart alec. I love you Miss Frank, even if you are having an affair with Mr. Andrews every Tuesday at 11:25 in the janitor’s closet.

All in all my day was pretty damn good. And the best part. God answered my wishes, there is no school tomorrow and I am going to get a nerf gun.